Even Adult Learners Slack

Sorry, it has been awhile.  When I last wrote here, I was approaching the end of a six course semester and I was disgruntled, impacted by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and beginning with a debilitating flu.  I felt that blogging would only give me an avenue to whine. For the benefit of those who read this, I decided to spare everyone the pity party.  With that being said, I am ecstatic that I have finished the Winter Term.  It is a term that really drags and the energy from the student body and even the faculty seems weighted as the semester ends.  We all needed a break.
What I am realizing, as the middle of the Spring Term approaches, I really needed a substantial break. I am finding it difficult to get back into the swing of things.  Contributing to my ability to find alternatives to school work is the chaotic nature of the summer. Kids have sports and friends and family are having barbecues and even the social nature of neighbours lusting to get out of the confines of their houses is more appealing than books on Psychoanalysis.
Discipline toward my studies was much easier when the alternative was -30 degree weather and a snowsuit.
Additionally, slacking has evolved out of the pressure that being accepted into graduate school has added to my studies.  I thought that incentive would contribute to my academics in a positive nature, motivating me to fly through this semester, keep on top of homework and finish with excellent marks.  Surprisingly, it has done nothing to motivate me.  In fact, I am probably more pessimistic of my abilities, believing that graduate school will only out me as an imposture in academia.
Theory surrounding self-fulfilling prophecy would caution me not to fall prey to the belief that I may fail or that I am not supposed to be here or accordingly I just may be writing about how I did not go to graduate school.
Being an adult may install a different sense of ownership over my education but it does not preclude me from insecurity, sabotage or slacking.  I need to disengage from the distractions for just a little longer and get this done.  So excuse me while I get back to the books!