Something Has To Give

Juggling.  It is an art, a skill that not everyone possesses.
It is entertaining when performed for a crowd.
It is upsetting when it is your life and all of the things that are important in that life are the instruments that you are hoping to keep from hitting the proverbial floor.
Welcome to week four at university.
I truly believed that I was on top of things, getting my readings done, marking my assignments on the fridge calendar, taking advantage of practice assignments, even starting projects at least a week before they were due.  This week I was slammed with the realization that it is not enough.
So what am I juggling?  And which ball can drop?
I have the boys and that includes getting them to their sports commitments, making sure they do homework - which may include reading with them, assignments, checking finished products and then there is the general maintenance - hygiene, nutrition, referee....
I have the baby (he does not count in reference to the boys) - for him there are many more maintenance items, he cannot shower, brush his teeth, change his diaper, dress or feed himself.  He needs me to read to him, turn on the TV (yes I use it sometimes to finish schoolwork), play with him, take him for speech appts., etc.
I have a house to run and that includes doing laundry, dishes, making dinners, getting groceries, tracking finances, paying bills (when we can and that is a whole other moment) and occasionally cleaning (that may be a small ball that has been dropped).
I have a marriage which includes finding time to communicate about what comes next, being a good partner when he has had a bad day (lately there have been a lot), listening to what he needs and asking for what I need.
I have my family and friends who sometimes need me and who I sometimes need for support, for a change of scenery, to vent to or to just listen to their days, admittedly I will not have as much time for this ball but I need to keep juggling it.
I volunteer still and that has always been an important part of my life.  It has been cut back drastically and is not a ball that I juggle daily but it is there.
Then there is the newest ball to this foray, school. This includes attending class, doing readings, taking notes (and understanding them afterward), participating in discussions, writing essays, contributing to group assignments, studying for tests (which may or may not mean doing more readings and taking more notes), applying for grants and bursaries and now filling out applications for graduate programs.

There are some obvious balls missing from this act and as I write this a 2 year old is screeching at the top of his lungs because he has been wronged by one of his older brothers.

I am lucky that I do not have the employment ball because I could not manage it but those bills may not care soon and I may need to add that to the act of juggling.

I have school today and I am not dressed and I am not showered.  One of the balls missing in this juggling act is me.
Something has to give here and I am not sure what.